Deviation Actions
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Gifts are not always pleasant, cheerful things we would like them to be. Sometimes they are intense, heavy, burning lumps that force us to think, learn and grow. Years ago I was given such a gift by a complete stranger.
It was a freezing night and I was to spend it on the train. Eight hours long journey ahead and the heating in the compartment was dying. My mood was no less chilly. I was still an art student at the time, going back to school after the holidays. And I was troubled, as I have been for months. I was full of questions and confusion and resentment. I chafed under the constraints of modern art. There was a panic growing inside me. I suspected that there is no place for my too figuratively inlined self in that world.
I shared the compartment with a fellow traveler. A well spoken gentleman with fine boned hands. We talked about books and writing and art. It was a good conversation. And thus I divulged my problem to a stranger. Struggles, fears, all of it. He answered with a quote. My first reaction was that it is too simplistic. My young idealistic self wanted more, wanted a sign, a map, a guide. But that is not how this game is played.
In the morning we parted ways, I have not seen him again. The quote stayed with me though. The single best advise on art I ever received. Now it is yours. It is my gift to you. Take it if you will.
"No one can advise or help you - no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must", then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse."
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters To A Young Poet
